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Thu Dec 13, 2007
The Importance of "Team" in the Relationship
I believe that one of the most critical concepts for improving a relationship is that of "team." Consider the idea of a team working cooperatively to achieve common goals and then think about how much or how little that applies to your current relationship. If you feel that you and partner are light years from being a team, there is likely faulty communication and general dysfunction close at hand.
So the first step is to recognize how much you operate as separate, opposing entities rather than as a unified whole. For what areas of your relationship is this true? What are the triggers and topics that put the two of you into debating club mode? When your need to win the debate is your priority, there is no team to be found. Dr. Phil always says that every relationship needs a hero, and I agree. "Heroically" allowing yourself to lose the argument or admit that you were wrong can strengthen the relationship. Sometimes you need to take one for the team.
In what ways can you build more team focus into your relationship and how might that resolve dysfunctional patterns? Also, how might your faith inform a this process of team-building? How might a more Christ-like stance be an improved focus for each of you, and how might incorporating habits such as praying together be a concrete part of the solution?
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